![]() The female flower children in this ad went on to earn their MRS degree and now all live in the suburbs of Washington DC or Baltimore or NYC where they raised their 2.5 kids and did all the white bread conformist crap they cursed their parents for doing but justified it by shopping at organic farmers markets and Whole Foods.Įvery single person in this ad did extremely well by discarding the "values" of their youth for the siren song of Capitalism and totally sold out way before they reached the age of 30. They've spent the last 25 years touring Europe every fifteen minutes. A few of them went into teaching public school in New York and took a retirement bailout offer from the state at the age of 55. The ONLY reason we wanted chose this song was so that we could sing the "I get high with a little help from my friends" part, which we were forbidden to do but did anyway.)Īll of the self-indulgent wankers in this ad really wanted to be at that Civil Rights/Out of Vietnam rally, but there was this cool outdoor rock concert on a farm in Upstate New York so hey, priorities.Īnd when the music stopped, all the males in this ad went on to become hedge fund managers or government employees with massive pensions. (A Little Trivia: This song was the one my graduating class picked for departing ceremonies when it was time to leave Spaulding High School in June, 1982. So everyone in this commercial is kind of a jackass. Nope- you're just going to sit there and be a passive-aggressive douchenozzle. And then you sit there and make little faces like you're trying to quietly pass a stone or really would like to say something if you could work up the nerve, but you can't. You don't look proud of your team, buddy- you look stupid and childishly confrontational. But to respond to "don't wear that" by revealing a blinking-light Raiders sweatshirt is just way too close to giving the middle finger to the other people at the table. I can get him refusing to pretend not to be a Raiders fan to avoid "conflicts" with the stupid family. When told that he "can't" wear his jersey at the dinner table, he responds by wearing something far more obnoxious than a simple jersey. He should know this before he gets too involved with this Nowhere Near Worth It girlfriend.īut there's nothing admirable about the guy, either. So they are openly jerks who take their sports waaaayyy too seriously. So which is it?Īt least the family is being honest toward the boyfriend- they all love another team to the point that they insist on wearing THEIR jerseys to the dinner table but will not tolerate his. Only one of them can be the Most Significant Event in Human History since Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the Commandments. I've never managed to get through either of these cringe-worthy eardrum-assaulting celebrations of excess without slamming down the mute button- and they are almost worse with the sound down. NBC's features the downright embarressing pomping of Carrie Underwood introducing whatever matchup happens to be the last of the day as if it's the freaking Second Coming. It should be downright ILLEGAL for him to crowd-surf. ![]() ![]() ![]() He's been ranting about these young men on television for thirty freaking years, never mind that the last of his brain cells died out at least tweny years ago. ![]() So, which is superior at providing over-the-top, redefining excessive glitz, hammer-to-the-head Oh Please Be Convinced That This Is The Most Exciting Thing In The Freaking Universe crank up the volume commercialism? ESPN's College Football Gameday or NBC's Sunday Night Football?ĮSPN's features the musical-um, "stylings?" of something named Lzzy Hale (seriously?) screaming her ass off before transitioning to three hours of the musings of recent NFL washouts and ancient fossils drooling over college-aged men (Lee Corso is eighty-two freaking years old. ![]()
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